today i know what day it is...

yesterday i didn't...

perfect:

 being entirely without fault or defect : flawless,  satisfying all requirements

 lacking in no essential detail : complete

sometimes i think it would be lovely to be perfect.   

especially since i am my own worst critic -- too hard on myself.  

but when i start berating myself for my most recently perceived failure and throw a pity party --  i remind myself of several things-- 

first ---  words from the wise:

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business." - Michael J. Fox

"To err is human, to forgive divine." - Alexander Pope

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." - Salvador Dali

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew." - Saint Francis de Sales

second -- out of much imperfection comes the beauty of learning and growth (not to mention realizing a need for god), also the ability to connect with a wide range of people through various experiences -- and perseverance and determination.  --- maybe that might equate to:   imperfection = character development ---  and you can't really argue with the benefits of character development, right??

third -- if i were perfect i don't think i'd have as many interesting things to blog about...  

i guess that leaves us with an imperfect me.  ok.

useless information:

-jon has a thing for nail clippers -- he always needs to know where a pair is at

-lulu has a thing for little bunny foo foo and peter cottontail -- she's pretty sure they'd make a good lunch

-me -- i have a thing about my job.  i miss it.

-me#2 --  i got woke up three different times last night by crazy loud thunder and lightening -- which jon slept through.  

happening this afternoon:

i think i'll go cook something now...

to "rally"

for my birthday this year, i received an adorable mini album from a friend.  i just fell in love with it and spent some time thinking about what i wanted to use it for.  i decided that i wanted to do something similar to elizabeth kartchner's "learn&grow" album, where she inserted photos and journaling about moments where she felt she had grown or learned something.  you might remember that in january i chose one word to be my focus for the year (my word for this year is "intent") -- i wanted to loosely carry the theme in my mini album, so i decided that i would choose a word at the end of the month that i thought described the events and then add journaling and photos.  at the end of the third month, i find it amazing how i really have been able to choose one word that i felt described the period of time.

this spring-- it's been more like "spring blah" instead of "spring yeah" -- motivation and positive thinking were in short supply, which was irritating, and yes, one more thing to be irritable about...  sometimes it's easier (though not as pleasant) to get stuck in the thunder, lightening, and rain as you deal with struggles and forget about the "sunshine & rainbows"  that follow -- to keep in mind the fact that many times you have to go through the storm to see the beauty at the end of it all...

double rainbow outside our house at the beginning of june

anyways, since it's just about the end of june, this morning i was thinking about my word for the month -- the one that quickly came to mind is "regroup"  it fits perfectly.  when i looked it up, i liked the main entry even better --

Main Entry:	rally
Part of Speech:	verb
Definition:	reorganize, unite
Synonyms:	arouse, assemble, awaken, bestir, bondtogether, bring to order, bring together, call to arms, challenge, charge, collect, come about, come to order, convene, counterattack, encourage, fire, gather, get together, inspirit, kindle, marshal, mobilize, muster, organize, reassemble, redouble, reform, refresh, regroup, rejuvenate, redouble restore, resurrect, resuscitate, revive, round up, rouse, summon, surge, urge, wake, waken, whet, wreak havoc

i'll end with ---  spring wasn't all storms  -- there were lots of rays of sunshine -- i'll post the pics soon

p.s.  - this morning we woke up to cows -- a little group eating our freshly cut clover  -- jon and i put on our cowboy hats (figuratively) and herded them back towards home...

it feels like summer...finally

our week in review:

random notes:
- on saturday jon and i tried to drive to bismark to meet up with friends, we made it about 40 miles down the road and turned around...this would be because we started with a storm on either side of us and then eventually drove to about the middle of it -- this would be where the lightening was flashing and the rain was pouring down so hard that even with the wipers on full full blast we still couldn't see in front of us -- then came the hail -- that would be when we turned around.  turned out to be a good idea since we would have followed the storm all the way there and then had a different one driving back home that evening.
- peach cobbler & strawberry shortcake...don't forget the vanilla ice cream -- plus jon made biscuits and gravy too...  good to be married to someone who likes to bake...
- i've made it through 5 of my 9 books from the library
- my fingernails are stained purple from pitting cherries -- trusty pitter is in washington=purple nails
- sundays always feel like mondays in montana -- seriously
- in love with hell's kitchen, top chef, and kitchen nightmares -- late at night episode watching on hulu while i wait for jon to get back from moving bees...
-moving bees a lot right now because the farmers are spraying a lot to keep the lots of little bugs away
- it's 80 degrees and rising -- no thunderstorms in the forecast until thursday and friday
- there are two little dead birds (ewww) out by the shop that lulu just found -- i think they must be casualties of the last big storm and thought our shop looked like blue sky --whoops
-  jon just came by to drop off a forklift -- he and the boys went out to super (bee talk for put an empty box on top of a hive that will hopefully get filled with honey) and at the first location of the morning got stuck in the mud. apparently quite stuck, since it's 1 o'clock right now -- dug it out and around just in time for a friendly truck to stop and pull them out -- trusty forklift did not survive and is now spewing it's innards like a sprinkler on a hot day...  off the boys went in hopes of a better afternoon

--pretty sure all the liquidy stuff is not supposed to be visible--

- i think i might be developing carpal tunnel syndrome so i think i'll stop now...

summer homecoming...(warning--long post)

week one of montana time  -- really, only one week -- it seems like it has been longer than that...maybe...
i kind of took the week off...so let's recap

last tuesday-
- wake up at 3:45am, load up last of the bags & lulu, pick up sister, kaitlin -- off we go
- 7:00 - traditional huckleberry's stop for breakfast food and walk lulu
- 10:00 - missoula - and the last starbucks i'll see for awhile -- i love love iced soy carmel macchiatos

- drive along listening to "pride and prejudice"

- happy happy til, oh we're in montana now-- tut tut it looks like rain
- stop in butte for gas and to check on the my tarped load after i remember that the only thing in didn't wrap in plastic was lulu's 3 bags of dog food -- visions of wet, moldy food dance in my head -- enter my favorite item ever: duck tape -- you are amazing!

- drive off in the t-storm and go over butte pass - truck shudders every time i use the brakes - which would be often, when driving down a 6% grade and passing semi trucks in the torrential downpour - lovely
- traditional stop at wheat, montana for a sandwich - check the dog food, duck tape duck tape, potty break for lulu, answer grandma's call, phone husband to complain about stupid montana weather always greeting me with a storm...

-billings= husband+costco+olive garden

made it - wind blown and rained on -- hooray for duck tape and bungees 

-last leg of the trip -surrounded by giant thunderstorm (look straight ahead, now turn your head all the way to the right --that's the span of lightening coverage we were getting every 2 minutes -- oh and then look to your left -- see the lightening over there too)  - dislike dislike dislike -- did i mention that the road we are traveling on is in the middle of nowhere...
-arrive at summer home just as the rain does - unload truck -- dog food is safe -- hooray!

wednesday - wake up to utter chaos.  take deep breathes.  stop and stare while trying to choose first step to restoring order.  night comes - along with t-storms and tornado watch.

thursday - hello windy weather - hello storms - hello tornado watch and severe thunder storms.  wake to no power--doesn't come on until after noon.

friday - 40mph wind all day long - 50mph gusts -- read about tornados that were north of us thursday night.

saturday - sleep. pancakes. camp meeting via internet. hulu--catch up on the entire current season of the bachelorette. sunshine until the evening --then t-storms, imagine that...

sunday - fathers day.  call father.  clean trailer top to bottom.  cook.  take mattress topper off of bed and hope for a good nights sleep on a not-so-soft bed. enter tornado watch&flash flood watch. severe t-storms arrive at our door around 7:00pm... 9:30 - look at news and watch you tube video of tornado in billings (3 hours away) that afternoon. sign up for weather warning text messages in hopes that it will wake me up if there is a tornado warning at 3am.

monday - wake to sunshine and lovely sky.  talk with friend who called to see if we were swept away in the tornado.  have a lovely morning til noon.  tornado watch. flash flood watch. severe t-storms.  look at weather radar and practice deep breathing and meditation.  continually and obsessively check weather for rest of the afternoon in hopes that storm will cease or change direction.  6:00 - husband leaves to move bees to a different location 7:40 - ominous clouds are here -- looking around me and watching giant cloud to ground lightening headed my way.  two tornados on radar south west of us and heading our way.  make a "tornado escape" plan.  7:45 call husband to see if he is alive - yes, alive and traveling home in a lightening storm -- sweet.  listen to local weather station and check radar while ignoring  brother and sister who happen to still love storms.  storm arrives -- popcorn with your lightening show anyone?  look at radar. say thank you prayer to god for my area being in the narrow gap between two horrible storm cells for the second day in a row...

taken after the storm passed us on sunday night - wanted to document how large it was

tuesday - sunshine.  all day.  cook. clean.  go to the library and come back with 9 books.  i must say that one of my favorite things about this town is their library...it's like christmas for summer reading.  shelves of westerns. mystery. romance. christian.  almost every series you can think of... labeled too.  amazing.  oh, of course there is non fiction and classics too, of which 3 of my books were chosen...  talk with local ladies at the library about stormy weather and tornado watches in 5th wheel trailers.  begin novel.

wednesday (today) - not gonna lie, basically all i did today was read.  finish novel.  watch movie based on book -- horrific, especially with novel fresh in my mind.  clean. cook.  curse weevils eating away at precious alfalfa.  husband goes to move bees.  blog.

whew.

so that is the last week.  if you made it through this far...

i think i am ready to blog more regularly again.  this spring has been crazy and i just needed a break...  i will try and post some "catch up" pics from this spring soon

one more day...

*to remember all the things i need to bring
*to pack all of those things
*to load all of those things in the truck
*to run around and get my errands done
*to enjoy my bed
*to enjoy living in a large space
*to be able to do a "walmart run"
*to try and get my library book read before i need to return it-- the one that i haven't started yet
*to live with two adult roommates instead of three teenagers

*til i get to go back to this --

hello summer -- so glad you're here

5 minutes + action steps

tonight:

*the song stuck in my head -- gotta love it-- we are learning it at the preschool for the end of the year program --red raincoat -- by courtney campbell.
*loving survivor
*wishing jon was here so we could watch grey's and private practice -- the suspense is driving me crazy
*listening to chirping crickets and such...


--- something that i started with my girlfriends awhile back -- i don't know if it is original or not, but it was new for me...  we were on one of our road trips having our usual conversations about water privatization, homogenized milk, organic vs. non organic, healthcare, bleach & pesticides, children taking apart old electronics, pre-washed salad mixes with poo in them and chickens that never see daylight, etc...  (you'd have to meet my friends to understand this conversation)
basically the fact that there is a lot of really crummy things out there and not a lot that you can do about much of it-- so, since i (and several others who i know) could tend to like to worry about the world and all that is in it, thus driving ourselves crazy...enough was enough.  i can't fix all the problems and worrying never brings results except taking years off of your life and leaving you with a perpetual headache -- enter the "5 minute" rule ( which may also be applied to many other things too ).  5 minutes to worry, fret or complain.  then be finished.  either stop thinking about it or take an "action step."  i find it unrealistic to say "don't worry" -- i've decided that what works best for me is to set a limit to my worrying.  while some things seem to require 5 minutes a day rather than just 5 minutes,  it still limits my ocd worrying tendencies.  i wish i was one of those laid back people who never worried about anything (like if what i just said came out right, if everyone is getting along, did i put sunscreen on my nose or turn off the flat iron before i left the house), but alas, i am just not made that way-- which is why i married someone who is the opposite of myself...  which brings me to the next problem -- the one where i want to be perfect and live in a perfect world where all is happiness, sunshine, and rainbows -- not to mention all natural and organic.   this presents some difficulty when colliding with the reality that is-- and probably is the source of 99.9% of my worries.  ---did i mention that i am also a "fixer" -- yes, so when all is not sunshine and rainbows in my little world, i worry.  and i try to fix.

worrier + fixer = unacceptable state of mind.  enter the solution (or part of it seeing as a complete change of personality is a little hard to order) -- 5 minutes + action step

i really like those two words "action step" -- but then i really like labels too --  there is something about having a go-to phrase that helps me along the way.  so after my 5 minutes are up -- i either need to stop worrying or create (and follow through with) an action step.  i think it is empowering.  it allows some control over something that you may other wise not have (or feel that you have) any control over.  it gives you courage to face obstacles because you are making a choice to act instead of doing nothing, or doing nothing but worrying.

a little catch up

waiting for jon to call me -- i have talked to him maybe a total of 10 minutes a day for the last week and a half -- that's how busy he is right now--so i decided to work on some photos

hard working hubby

i took cupcakes to work for my birthday -- applesauce spice with brown sugar cream cheese frosting

our neighbors yard sale = parking lot in front of our house

garden time?

balloon stampede

love me some kellie time

and michelle too!

courage

i know i am a bad blogger right now-- it just isn't happening at this point --- so just miss me for a bit and i'll be back soon -- or in june, whichever comes first :)

everyone can use a little extra courage sometimes -- and sometimes a little more than a little.  i really enjoy christine kane -- she inspires and challenges me often --  52 ways to build courage:


Here are 52 ways - little and big - to build your courage. Some of them seem completely foolish. But they’re not. They’re just uncomfortable. And that’s the whole point! Success in life is directly related to how uncomfortable you’re willing get. Now, get uncomfortable and go be courageous!

————–

1 - Paint your nails green. (Guys get extra credit for this one!)

2 - Begin to live your life as an “experiment.”

3 - If you’re always spontaneous, plan something in advance and stick with it. If you’re a meticulous planner, do something spontaneous.

4 - Quit your job.

5 - Start a blog.

6 - Take a drawing class.

7 - Learn a new language.

8 - Begin yoga.

9 - Do something tourist-y in your own town.

10 - Get up in the morning after having a bad day yesterday. Encourage yourself to begin again.

11 - Give money away.

12 - Look into people’s eyes when you’re in public - on the street, buying groceries, etc.

13 - Hire someone to do a regular task you can’t stand doing. (i.e., mowing the lawn.)

14 - Play music more. Watch TV less.

15 - Get rid of everything in your home that’s not an Absolute Yes.

16 - Put on a goofy smile and look at other drivers when you stop at lights.

17 - Go vegan.

18 - If you never host parties or dinners - invite friends over for dinner.

19 - Teach a workshop.

20 - Start a mastermind group.

21 - Be bad at something. Do it anyway.

22 - Make requests. Don’t complain.

23 - Join a writer’s group.

24 - Hire a life coach.

25 - In social situations, allow people to talk with you instead of running around the room “networking.”

26 - Worry less. Act more.

27 - Enter a writing contest.

28 - Start your own business.

29 - Ask someone out on a date.

30 - Make a business card for yourself.

31 - Eat at an ethnic restaurant you’ve never considered.

32 - Respond. Don’t react.

33 - Get some music from another culture. Sit down and really listen.

34 - Listen more. Talk less. Especially to your kids.

35 - Take a swing dance class.

36 - Hire a physical trainer.

37 - Start a book club.

38 - Test-drive a luxury car.

39 - End a relationship that drains you or hurts you.

40 - Pray.

41 - Quit smoking.

42 - Take different routes to work each day.

43 - Drive around and get lost on purpose.

44 - Wake up at 5am and write.

45 - Assumptions are the enemy of success. Question them often.

46 - Excuses are the enemy of action. Stop making them.

47 - Admit when you are wrong.

48 - Write a fan letter to someone who’s not famous - a teacher, a grocery store clerk - anyone who delights you or touches you.

49 - Pick one incomplete in your life. (A cluttered garage, for instance.) Tackle it for 15 minutes a day.

50 - Do an open-mic night.

51 - Pay the toll of the person behind you.

52 - Run for President.

last week + the weekend

tuesday -- sandals!

wednesday -- love these beauties in my backyard + cabi party fun in the evening

thursday -- tax day -- jon taking pictures = beautiful

friday - thank goodness -- began my book - 860 pages -- finished it saturday 

saturday - jon said it was time for his australia favorite again - warm jelly doughnut& vanilla ice cream

sunday - we spent the day in the car and a few hours at friends wedding -- garter toss -- they just watched it fall...  time for a redo

reception buddy/bff/roommate

monday - spring beauty outside my bedroom window 

monday night - popcorn+"2012"+ blog updating

lilacs outside my window

i haven't been feeling so sunshiney the past few days -- but these beauties put a smile on my face -- they popped open over the weekend and i discovered them yesterday morning.  they are one of my absolute favorites.

the sun is out today.  i hope it stays out and keeps the day bright-- both for me and the poor soul who was just pulled over by an undercover sedan clad stater and is getting a ticket right outside my window. bummer.  don't speed on my road.  joggers + undercover staters...